I began my journey as a Tech Helpdesk Agent two years ago.

Recently, I transitioned into developer work.

I levelled up.

Naturally, with great power comes great responsibility (said by some old man in Spider-Man).

Meetings, leading, planning…

Consequently, I’ve been grappling a lot with anxiety.

It’s entirely normal. After all, I’m human, and all these new experiences evoke such feelings.

Determined to fix this, be an effective leader, and continue to elevate,

I turned to the audiobook “Feeling Good” by David D. Burns MD. Here’s the reference.

The insights from the book are enlightening, but one technique, in particular, has been transformative for me.

I’m eager to share it because if you’re reading this, I believe you’re on a journey of growth and responsibility as well.

Remember, we’re all human.

Pressures and anxiety are inevitable. Hence, this technique will likely benefit you.

Before diving in, a quick note:

Though the method may seem simplistic, I initially doubted its efficacy too.

Approach it with an open mind and give it a shot.

Now, onto the method:

Introducing the 3 Columns Method:

Obsidian version

For Obsidian users, this will be straightforward.

​Reference for creating a 3-column table in Obsidian​

Create your table.

The columns are labelled as:

• Automatic Thought
• Cognitive Distortion
• Rational Response

Here’s the breakdown:

Document your thoughts

During the day, write down random thoughts that induce anxiety or thoughts that bother you in general in the first column. For career-related matters, examples might include:

“I’m not a good leader”.

“I’m not skilled enough to complete this project”.

Recognize the Cognitive Distortion

In the second column, recognize the cognitive distortion at play, such as:

1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colours the entire beaker of water.
4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
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   5a. Mind reading. You arbitrarily conclude that someone· is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.
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   5b. The Fortune Teller Error. You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already established fact.
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6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”
7. EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: ‘‘I feel it, therefore it must be true.’’
8. SHOULD STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.’’ When someone else’s behaviour rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: “He’s a goddam loser.’’ Mislabelling involves describing an event with language that is highly coloured and emotionally loaded.
10. PERSONALIZATION: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.

Draft a rational counter-response

Having identified the thought and its associated distortion, craft a more rational response to your thought. Here’s the full example:

Paper version

The paper approach mirrors the digital one, but you’d utilize a notebook or paper instead of Obsidian.

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This technique, despite its simplicity, is highly effective.

Not only will it produce a calm and rational mindset, but over time, you’ll also intuitively spot cognitive distortions in your daily life, making this strategy automatic in your subconscious.
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Wishing this serves you well.

Thanks for reading,

Silva
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